My Tardios!!!

we have been so lucky to have "my Tardios" come and visit us! They are the family that rob grew up with and they are the ones who gave him his expensive taste! lol this year was extra special because Alyssa and Mike has Jayce aka lil t and i got to meet him for the first time! Let me tell you he is my favorite lil man! i love snuggling with him! he has such a sweet lil spirit and i cant wait till i get to see him again! And of coarse i love Alyssa and T too! :)

we stayed with Lynn and Sam in sedona and took the kids for a walk! they are so fun and it is so beautiful in sedona! Thank you so much for letting us stay with you guys!!! :)
Sam and Jayce! aww he loves his grandpa!
Rob, Deb and Jayce! love them!!
And of coarse i had to have my pic with my lil man!!! haha

miss and love them so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Moms B-day makeover!!

For my moms bday i decided to redo my moms room! my mom always is there to take care of everyone else and she never does anything for herself! her blinds were horrible and she didnt have a new bedspread plus we added some pictures and cleaned everything up! britt and i were up until 130 am and we had sooo much fun! the best was going to walmart to buy fabric to make the black curtains! lol hanging them up was soo funny and took us forever! brit has this mexican/chinese voice and it had me rolling!!! it is still crazy to think she is married and growing up! But im so glad she can still be silly! haha thank you brit for this fun time! and the Zumba time! :) And thank you mom for being sooo amazing! we love you so much! xoxox

Camping with the family..makes my heart so happy!!

dont know how i didnt get more pix of us crafting!! belli i love you for who you are and for loving us! we know how hard mixing family can be but you truly get what life is all about and how to treat people with love and respect! love you sis!!!

how i love marg and my grandma! :)

Brit and aust! i really got to get to know austin this trip and i guess i will keep him! lol what a fun jokester! just like my silly sister! im thankful for brit and all the help she gave me in redoing my moms room for her bday! love you sis

my mom taking a pic of me while i take a pix of her! she is so great and loves life and everyone that comes into hers! im so blessed to have her as my mom!

my favorite people in the whole world!
we finally got the family together and went up north away from the busy life down in the valley! there is nothing better to me then having my family all together! My favorite memories growing up were with my grandparents and family going camping, driving to Idaho and az with me standing next to my grandpa and singing Willie Nelson, family reunions and just enjoying each other! What i wouldnt give to be back to the simple ways of life! This last weekend i got to show my kids how it was when i was growing up! They got to play mexican horseshoes, be in the Heber parade and go for walks with the dogs.. My mom told me after we got home that after the parade they went to the park where they had a bunch of bounce houses and carnival type rides for everyone to enjoy, and jaren said grandma i dont want to spend money here i just want to go back to the cabin!!! aww my boy gets it! i couldnt be more thankful for my children and my amazing family for making my life wonderful!!!!!!xoxoxoxo

life...

i sit and think back to when i was little, what an amazing life i had! at times i miss being young. it was like i lived in this perfect bubble, everyday was amazing no stress and no real world problems! haha yes i liked my bubble. i am now grown and going thru the real world some choices im not proud of and others i am. It is crazy how times just seems to fly by!

Jaren is in tackle foot ball it and i love going to watch his games every sat! last week he had the dropped the ball 2x not a big deal but my little man is so hard on himself. i could see his head drop and shake like he is telling himself how could you! well the next time he had the ball he didnt drop it and ran it down and almost got a touch down! after the game i ran up gave him a hug and told him what an amazing job he did...he said i dropped the ball mom and shook his Jar i said you cant get down on yourself babe! everyone makes mistakes but you didnt give up and look how great you did with the next run! ya mom but i dropped it! his big brown eyes looked up and i could see tears forming..it breaks my heart to have him be so hard on himself..i just hugged him and told him i loved him then they pasted out snacks and he didnt mention it again.. about a week later we are in the car and im taking the kids to school! i had cut up apples and oranges for the kids to snack on, on our way jaiden says mom why do you eat healthy foods i explained how the good food helps fight all the bad things that get in our body! just like the blue berries that i call the time bombs after you eat them they go in your body and blow up all the bad things that get into your body and could make you sick! haha then i say it also will make it so your not fat like me!!! Jaren says mom you are not fat and you cant say those things about yourself you cant be down on yourself!!! i was shocked here is my eight year old teaching me the same lesson i was trying to teach him! he has such an amazing spirt! i looked at him and said you are right! ok buddy from know on if i hear you (he finished the sentence) or i hear you we will stop the person and make them say something nice about themselves! How did i get so lucky to have such amazing kids??? they teach me so much everyday and i cant imagine my life without them!

Wellness.....

i feel that i have to start with some back ground before i can go into the overwhelming emotion that i am feeling tonight...

it was about 4.5 years ago i was at home and started not feeling well, being that i am not a fan of going to the Dr's i just thought i could wait it out.. that is until my grandpa came to my house and i was in the fetal position and couldn't get up.. even then i just told him that i would be fine i just wanted to sleep..well he wasn't having it. He called rob and made him take me in. Long story short a week later i had had 4ct scans surgery to remove the pre cancer cells on my ovaries and was leaving the hospital with shots that i had to give myself in my stomach due to the blood clots, this was the beginning of a long road that has been absolutely the most difficult thing that i have ever been through...

Although it was difficult i have to say the part i do miss is going to the coumadin clinic..this was because i had a blood clot and coumadin is a blood thinner..well ever old person is on this medication and i just happen to love old people!!! they have a clinic because you have to go in every week to check your levels then they would adjust the medication as needed..well i miss talking to all my old friends every week!

After my last surgery i had to have a full hysterectomy which you think that i would be happy about and i was until menopause hit the moment i woke up from surgery. The past year i have never felt more old. that is really the only way that i cant describe it. i find myself so sad because i have to force myself to get up and play with my kids. My poor kids i keep thinking to myself they deserve a mom that has the energy to play with them. i go to Dr's and they just prescribe me medication that doesn't help. is this how i am going to have feel for the rest of my life??? My babies deserve so much more than this!! i feel like my memory is going. i cant even remember things that happend the day before. and i feel like i have no place to turn..

i called cami and asked her for Dr. Bretts number. and make and appt...she told me to keep and open mind and just let him work his magic! I did just that. i got in my car after his appt and just cried all the way home, some tears of sadness from all that i have been through and not been able to let go of, and also tears of joy that there is going to be a day that i will feel like myself again. i know this sounds like i am crazy and it is crazy that a person can loose themselves but this is the joy of life. to be able to work through life's up's and down's, and also learning more about myself and who i am in the process.

Well i get home and sit down at the table and the tears are flowing. i say to rob that i am so happy and thankful for the way i feel tonight and that i cant wait to get myself healthy again. My sweet little Jaren comes up to me with tears in his eyes and says mom i am so happy that you are going to feel better. how much has this affected my kids?? they have been young but there has been times where they weren't sure if i was going to make it. how does that make them feel. how scary for them to have to go through! I am so thankful for wonderful grandparents to be there for them to comfort them and let them know that no matter what things will be ok..i remember jaiden who is 4at the time, telling me that "mom it will be ok if you go to heaven i can live with grandma".

i am so thankful for prayer, and family. this is what has kept us going! i don't like to write about this, i am one that tries to keep things upbeat and positive to keep from making people feel like they need to help me. I want to be the one to help people, but as Dr. Brett pointed out today, Jesus let people help and serve him you have to allow people to help you in order to help others. this is going to be something i have to work on. Again words can not decribe how greatful i am for Dr. Brett! and i know it is going to be a long road but that i will have total body wellness and that will just make me a better mom to the most amazing kids! i can be the mom they deserve again, a healthy mom. I love them more thank anything in this world.

on that note...i am off to sleep i have a feeling it will be a good nights rest, that will be a first! Thank you again Dr. Brett for helping me in this journey!

keep a smile in your heart! and on your face!

Thankful!

I was in the hospital this friday and Cami came to visit me! i love her so! She told me about writing on her blog and then being able to print it all out at the end of each year!! how great!! i am going to try to write on her as much as i can now! so that my kids will be able to look back after im long gone and remember all the fun we have had!!

I am so thankful for cami! her outlook on life is amazing! She really gets it and knows how to keep a level head about life's crazy up's and down's!! I was not excited about turning the big 30 and she said how can you not love it! you have made mistakes learned from them and now you get to really get life moving in a positive direction! i am still having a small problem with it but at least i have her thoughts to get me through! lol

Cam i want to thank you for being you! thank you for making me always feel like part of the family! we may not be related by blood or marriage now, but i feel like we are and that is all i care about! i love your guts!!!!!!

So Much going on!!!

Well i know that i am not good at this blog thing but i will try to stay with it! haha no promises tho!!!

I am so happy that summer is here! i love sleeping in and so do my kids come to find out! haha well for the summer i am going to take each kid and do a fun trip! i dont ever get to spend time with each of them alone so it should be fun! i asked jaren what he wanted to do and he first said go to toys R us...then said no mom i want to go to disneyland for 2days and go to hollywood so he can see Elvis! as he does the face and says uhhhh huh! lol that is my boy! Jaiden just wants to go to cali and hang at the beach! i said we could go anywhere! yes they are my kids! haha
i am also trying to get my business off the ground! i have had tons of leads and it has been great to work with the Dr's i have so far! i just got a ref from one of my accounts he told his accountant and he works strickly with dds..and wants to meet with me so that could be great!!! Thanks Dr. Baker! haha
Rob is rob! lol working staying so busy! its is great that the economy hasent hurt him to much. but he wants to sale and move to missouri!!!!!!!! What the city girl you married! lol yeah thats is not ok with me at all..but i think he will just part time it here and there! if everything works the way he wants! but it is hush hush that he wants to sale so shhhhhhhhh! hahah i cant keep my mouth shut! well i this is more than i have done in a long time so i will call it good for now! i love you all and happy summer!!!!!:)